Connecting, taxes, and pre South Carolina Tummy Butterflies

I've heard one of the things that people really admire about me is how I really nurture my relationships. And I've never realized it, but I absolutely do! I do it to a fault. I contribute soooooo much into my relationship, my friendships, acquaintances, my work cohorts, (I fall off when it comes to my family because none of us really like each other and not speaking just really works for us). Because I know one of these days I will need someone and I hope someone will be there for me. Not only does my connecting with everyone go with my regular friends and people in my everyday life, but if you and I have had some heart to hearts and didn't totally creep me out - boom! we're bffs. Say you dated one of my friends 100 years ago and I actually liked you with them, BOOM! - we're still totally bffs. I will nurture the hell out of a friendship or any kind of ship, I really need to let some things go or the "friends" or people I have a lot of faith in just dissipate, it's not doing anything for me other than frustrating me and aggravating me. I don't know why this is but I just connect with some people so easily and others not so much. But I feel like that's normal people problems.

A huge bummer this year was taxes for Curtis and I. We were thinking shit we've paid sooooooooo much money into taxes this year and then we find out from our tax lady that our total tax return is a whole 45 dollars! WTFH!!!! The over 15k we paid in this passed year and am not getting anything back. This is stupid ridiculous! But we didn't have to pay in at all which is nice or be audited. So I suppose I should be very grateful. Just super disappointing.

South Carolina - Since I have such an issue sleeping I'll probably take the first driving shift which will most likely be through the night.We'll be arriving on St Patrick's day sooooooo I know I'll need some mad energy for going out that night. It's been such a long time since I've "gone out", I love my posh bars with just a couple of drinks and chatting with a girlfriend. But going out, is a whole other monster all together. Also, I hope that I pull off this bridal party fluffing without a hitch. I would be so beside myself if things didn't go well for my friend on her day.

Bedroom Overhaul

There are so many ideas I have for this house. But unfortunately I have a very expensive vision. 

 I love the exposed brick in this photo, and of course the chandelier. I love the neutral overall feel of this room.

 Once again love the exposed woodwork and the warm wood on the floor. And the duvet I'm loving!!

 GOWD! I wish I could draw, chalkboard paint would be fun because we could write messages to each other in the mornings.

 I love  this room because of how much character it has. I love the arch over the door and the original window and skinny doors. Plus I do like the head and foot board on the bed. 

 I like my current duvet and sham set but I would like to have something that is unisex but still kind of feminine and sexy.

I wish there was a way for me to take elements of all of these rooms and make a cohesive room that makes sense and it comfortable. 

Hello weekend :D

HAPPY SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been thinking all week about the weekend and what I would do with it and I swear it was packed.... But I never write down my plans unless super important so now, I do not remember ANYTHING I was planning!! I know I need to go to the gym today and actually get some miles in. I've been going religiously and doing everything in my power to avoid running, which I know will make training for this half marathon soooooo much more difficult. I really need to get into that rhythm where I want to run, I know it's addicting for some. I need to get there. Plus if  when I do, there is a jacket I think I really need!! This jacket is the end all be all of everything I want as far as athletic gear goes. It has a place to put your phone or music device and also a hole to run your head phones. Moisture wicking, and holes in the sleeves for your thumbs!!!!! (which is in my opinion is the most exciting and important feature!!)

I think I may have a new workout buddy!!!! I think having her as a workout buddy would be great because she would really hold me accountable. It also helps that she is a live barbie. GAH!! Something I forgot to buy at Meijer this morning was more Bing energy drink!! Now I try not to have these very often - like once a month or so. They are delish!! I tried them for the first time in North Carolina and have been hooked! It took me  forever to find them here in kzoo because at Meijer they are in a very small spot for energy drinks. They taste like cherry jolly rangers (which I LOVE!!!) only with less calories and sugar. 

Its only a few weeks until Curtis, Christina, and Sam are in Myrtle Beach, SC for Jess' wedding. I'm so excited to see her have her big day. I didn't go to her first wedding about 6ish years ago. But now I'm going down there with my husband and 2 of my single girl friends (which I hope get penetrated on vacation). Jess asked me to help out with hair and makeup for her wedding and I certainly could and told her I would. Which I've been thinking more now than ever, that I kind of want to go back to cosmetology school. It's something I'm just naturally good at. It is interesting to me and I love anything that has to do with makeup (skin primarily) and hair and tricks to make things more simple for the ladies. Within the next couple of years I know that is something I'll do again. Because if I could get licensed my friend and I (who I think work really well together) could do wedding hair and makeup all summer. I think getting women ready for weddings is probably one of the most stressful things I've ever done, but I LOVE it. But I don't really have the passion that people talk about when they are doing the things they love. I love things but I just don't get that passionate about them. I think it's just from me not wanting to get pumped about something and then becoming terribly disappointed. With us not wanting children for a couple of more years I think this leaves a lot of time for me to really just enjoy life and myself. 

I really want some carob almonds (I know they look like some kind of poo), they are really good. I bought some at the food co-op. More on Carob Chocolate. 

El Cap-i-tan

Happy Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today went pretty well minus everyone being out of the office and me not being able to use the restroom without an interruption. But in this economy I'm very fortunate and blessed to have a job even with a college degree. But onto lighter things!! I am the el cap-i-tan of the weight loss challenge for my department!! With the six ladies we have that are wanting to do this challenge I really think we have a good shot to win this thing.  And each person has a $10 pay in, the prizes are monetary. The pot is split 50% for the winning team, 30% for the second team, and 20% for the third team. I hope I hold the bar high and have been threatening to slap food out of people's hands and throw out their desk stashes. So I run a tight ship!

I don't have any one goal for my fitness, except reaching when I felt the best, about my overall appearance and health. And also to have some pretty rockin Michelle Obama arms wouldn't be terrible either. :D Since that is a huge problem area for me. There is a class at the gym I go to called sun's out guns out with I think I might do now. After seeing Michelle do a push up challenge on the Ellen show - I am inspired!

My niece received her tutus I sent her a couple of weeks ago. She's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo damn cute!!! I can't stand it! I wish I was in her life more, with me being 2 hours away plus our schedules makes it so difficult to see her!

First Blog

YIKES!!!!!!! This is soooooo nerve wracking for me!! But here goes nothing. Things seem to be going really well for Curtis and I recently. I feel like I'm finally breaking out of my 3 or 4 year funk. I've lost over 20lbs (huge victory). I was so used to being an attractive person and then I certainly realized people treat you so differently when you aren't "beautiful". I know I place so much of my self worth in what others think of me.

Some would say that's not true. Is it not? Then I start thinking (scary I know) I am the most obsessive person I know. Obsessive about everything, examples - my weight, my appearance, what I think of others, what others think of me, is this boob bigger than the other?, I need to organize more, should I cut my hair. etc If you've thought it I probably have also. Which I don't know why I do this, I can't wait until I get to that point where I just don't care to compare myself to others. I'm not doing it to be bitchy or judgmental - just to feel adequate. I know some of you may be thinking "this girl hates herself". It may appear that way, but I don't. I am waaaaaaaay too hard on myself and I know it. But it doesn't stop me.

I feel like a "shiny" person. My husband calls it that because I am constantly distracted by everything. And I know this behavior is reflected in my writing. So please don't be surprised when I am one one topic and then seq-way onto another without warning.

I'm so lucky to have such a supportive counterpart. My main and only squeeze Curtis. He is my compliment in every respect. He believes in me more than I believe in myself. I know this frustrates him so he pushes me to my limits on certain topics. As I with him and his not so strong points. I <3 my nerd.

I feel spring coming which means I am going to be so restless. Needing to get things done on the house, which is a nightmare and a money pit.

Which reminds me I will be getting a "star performer" award at work tomorrow. This makes me super proud of myself and feeling like I just save the US budget deficit (lol). It does feel really nice to know I was recognized by one of my peers for doing or being exceptional in some way. Unfortunately they don't tell you who nominated you or who nominated you. You have to wait and hear all of the stories about each of the individuals. And I don't mind being noticed. But I get SOOOOOOOOO embarrassed when I know all eyes are on me, I turn red and get warm and just have anxiety running through my body. Maybe this goes to my fear of judgement.