Never Never Land

I've been going through this completely restless phase for the last couple of months. It's good because I'm staying active, and I'm happy. But, I am starting to think that I'm leaving people with the wrong impression of me. I know I joke around about being a huge hot mess, and I've proven it on occasion. For the most part I am quite boring. When I'm at home I blog, clean, love on my fur babies or my man, a good portion of my at home time is dedicated to reality TV. I want to say I'm your typical 26 year old woman with no children and a huge desire to never want to grow up. I have "never never land syndrome" if you will. I feel like I've reached the peak of my immaturity lately. But some pranks and jokes are just too perfect to not take advantage of. I don't want to be a lame bitter person who is "grown up". I'm having an awesome time being an adult without major responsibility (without a child). Sunday (Mother's Day) I had at least 3 people tell me happy Mother's Day, I never had a child with me. I didn't mind, I just said thank you because telling every person that I'm not a mom would grown tiresome after a while. I know my bod isn't where I want it to be, but I think people just thought I had a very nurturing look about me, which I find super comical.

Speaking of Mother's Day, I didn't call my mother at all. We do not and have never had a great relationship. We barely call each other for birthdays and I'm ok with that.

Weekends are far too short

I'm so happy about so many things going on in my life right now. I'm not really on a peak or in a valley, just on a plateau and I'm ok with that. I felt like I was being especially hard on myself before the half because I didn't train the way I was supposed to. I was dreading it, hating the thought of doing it, but I always seem to face anything head on even though I'm in the purist form of being terrified. I was doing really well  until the half way point. LOL - a friend told me she had me on gps tracking my updates in case she needed to resuscitate me..

I had a super fun filled weekend with friends that we haven't seen since our wedding. I was so happy about that. I love seeing people!!

Also something else I'm super excited about, is that my WET volunteer application was accepted!!! So, I will be volunteering at Bonaroo this summer!!

love - hate

GAH!!! is all I can possibly sum all of my emotions and frustrations with right now. I was talking to a very dear friend this evening about how I am the most selfish person I know, then the largest bolt of lighting went across the sky (from my hours of watching the O network last weekend, I know this is a sign). I am sooo beyond absolute cognitive belief selfishness it isn't even funny. This doesn't surprise me one bit, but I sometimes try to lighten the mood with my moot issues to my Amigas, so their issues don't seem too significant.... I don't think it works....... But I do give it the "Raina try".

I'm terrified for this run Sunday. I won't do well... I know this to be fact. I've come to peace with it and I want it to be over like yesterday. Because........  Curtis and I are going on a cruise with 2 very dear friends of mine from high school. They are getting married this year and asked us to accompany them on their honeymoon cruise which I am cra cra pumped about (it's not until November though)!!! I just hope after the run I'm able to walk and speak in coherent sentences and be pleasant even though we all know I'll be so super tired and sore. Alas, this is the price I pay, to get back into top notch shape and hold myself accountable for my actions.

Speaking of being accountable, the weight loss challenge is over, we didn't win.... But, that's ok. I'm so proud of all of out efforts, even if that means we weren't winners :D The other teams killed themselves. The top team lost almost 9% of their body weight. WTF!!! I would be almost 16lbs lighter had I lost 10%.  So, I'll stop harassing the opponents. I'm such a shit talker.