Jinx!

I knew it! After posting how things had been going so well. Life (as it usually does) likes to reality check me. My reality check came in the form of my insurance not covering anything I need. So, I'm looking at dropping some serious money that could have all been avoided had, I just stayed on my hubs' insurance vs. my own plan.   Right now my current beef is that it will cost me $1000 for the same birth control I was on for 4 years because I need to have it "re-done". I can not even describe how aggravated I am. WHY?!?!?! Why do I pay for insurance when it doesn't cover anything! This aggravation also falls into why this particular organization will cover boner meds for men but no sort of birth control for women.

I went to a wedding on Saturday for a friend. We've grown apart so much, I still like her. It's just waaay different now, I imagine she'll start growing a part from most of her friends who aren't involved in her church and have the same ideals. Which I'm at piece with, I try not to show my ass about how much I think things have changed. But, my ugly personality about it sometimes I think is mourning the less of how we used to be as friends. I will always have a special place in my heart for her, I just need to remember "you're ok, i'm ok".

On a positive note, PROVOLONE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My once fatty fat cat is now home!!! I say once because he has lost about 5lbs and looks like normal P vs. his name heavy P. I will have him pack those lost lbs on in no time! This makes me SO happy!!! I missed that lazy fatty of a cat.

Too well?

Is there such a thing as everything falling into place perfectly? The pessimist in me seems to think so, but the realist in me thinks "you probably deserve it girl". Last weekend was so busy for me. I went to Fort Wayne to celebrate a bestie's birthday on Friday. I played laser tag for the first time in 10 years, and I have realized I'm terrible at it! I'm terrible at most "sports" anyway, but this one I exceptionally sucked at. The other team knew where I was hiding the whole time and they could probably hear my heels and my excessive gregarious laughter all throughout this tri-level course. But I think she (my bestie) had a good birthday and that's all that matters to me. I saw my brother and GORGEOUS niece which, I feel made my entire trip. We stopped by our cousin's house for yet another bday party. Then came home. I went to my pin up class Sunday afternoon. I love Go Go Amy! She's such a fascinating person. She told me how she started modeling before but then marketed herself as a 40's model who could style herself. That brought in so many gigs for her. She could style herself which saved whoever hired her money. GENIUS! Although, after seeing my photo preview I do not feel like I have a future in such a career, but it was a super fun experience. I had talked a new found friend into going with me and her photos were smoking hot! I know she was a little apprehensive about it, but after she saw her photos I think it reaffirmed she liked the experience a lot.

There are so many things I wanted to do this summer that I don't think I'll be able to, prime example, Bonnaroo.  But it might happen (fingers crossed) Curtis wouldn't be going so it would just be me and whoever I would be annoying that weekend. (My appologies in advance). He'll be going to wedding, alone :( .... Normally I am so supportive for whatever it is that he wants to do. I've done nothing but be there for him over these last 5ish years, I think I'm due for a selfish weekend.

I've noticed my energy level driving down which makes me super sad, I need to keep this momentum going! But I hope to be inspired soon!

Easterish

Happy Easter!!! Today will be dedicated to my Amazon Shopping Cart and volunteering at the homeless shelter, as God had intended. Maybe I am very cynical about religion. Maybe everyone else does have it right. You can do whatever it is you want (be an a-hole) on a regular basis and then go to church. That absolutely annoys me - when I see a-hole behavior in people and then they hide behind their religion to justify. Smh.... Anyway, that is a huge down fall of mine, caring too much about what other people are up to. Most of the time I think things like Facebook are entertaining because of the amount of what's published, and how most people are so emotionally driven. Fascinating! I try to keep a lot of that to myself but that's why I have this blog. It was brought to my attention Friday that I know waaaaaay too much about people just from reading their Facebook pages. A term called "creepin" comes to mind. If there is someone I haven't seen for a while I will "creep" on their facebook just to see how things are going. I'm sure they prefer that to a phone call or a drive by. And people are naturally curious about other people. I've taken the necessary steps to cut down on my facebooking. But it's soooooo difficult. I am certainly a social media addict. I need a 12 step program. I feel that my online shopping carts are going to take the heavy of this transition period.

A potted tulip plant I won as a shower gift for being married for the least amount of time. I went to a bridal shower yesterday. It was really nice, it was the family shower for the girl who I went to her naughty shower. It was super laid back which I appreciated because I was highly involved in some drinks the night before and didn't eat dinner. I didn't blow my diet, but I could have very much made better choices. I was feeling guilty afterwards so I ran the 5k course around my gym and cut 3 minutes off of my pb time. I did register for the half marathon which I already know, will be extremely difficult because I haven't trained like I should have at all for it. 

Next week is going to be so busy for me. Friday, were going to Fort Wayne for my bestie's bday!!! Then I have to leave saturday or sunday so I can be in Grand Rapids by 1 for my pin up shoot with Liz!!!!! I'm pumped, I haven't found what I'm going to wear for it yet and my body isn't where I want it to be yet either. I'm still hoping to be able to see the Fray in Chicago the next Tuesday after (my brother's bday). But hopefully I'll have some funny money by then :D. 

Missing Provolone

There has been a lot going on in my life lately. Most of which was my recovery after vacation. I've been getting back into my crazy routine. But I haven't felt like doing anything at all. No motivation. But I'm getting it back! There is no way I'm going to make it through this half marathon without crying. I can do a solid 5 miles, anything beyond that is terrible. 

I do like blogging so that I can get my thoughts out onto type. My apologies to the 99 people who have viewed this. I primarily use my blog as an accountability tool. So that I can improve in different areas. 

Curtis and I finally took the plunge and purchased kayaks. I'm pumped!!!! I love it. I love water, I love sun. I think there is just something very therapeutic about large bodies of water. Being in them is even better. I think the main selling point for me was the twisty thing under the straps. That is a cooler than can fit 2 normal sized cans of beer or (and I haven't tested this yet but I'm pretty sure) a whole bottle of wine!! There is a cup holder also to the left (which is holding my package of peanuts nicely). A dry compartment in the rear with locks. I've been searching online to find quick dry shirts for the great trip of this summer. And I don't think they make any feminine hiking clothes. I looked exactly like how South Park animates their butch characters. I'm stupid excited to have some libations on the river this year. I can't wait to put stickers on this thing. PUMPED!!! I am in love with this new gadget.

On a sad note, I'm afraid my cat Provolone is gone for good. :( this makes me super sad. He was so cuddly and lazy. He escaped 2 weeks ago and hasn't returned. He's never been gone for that long. No other cats will replace him. Where ever you are I hope you are being well taken care of and I miss you very much.

South Carolina, Wedding and bad decisions

Samma and Curtis

 I apologize in advanced for how long and weird this blog is going to be. It's a culmination of what's all been going on in my crazy life within the past week and a half. 


We (Curtis, Christina, and Sam and I) left after work on Friday March 16 to drive to Myrtle Beach. I for some reason drove 12a-7a which enabled me to be an absolute bitch for the following day. If I'm too excited about something I will not sleep, I've tried to chill out, yoga, meditation. Shit's hard for me. But anyway a few personality drinks remedied that situation. Finally when we were able to check into our resort. I have never seen soooooooo much on a bell cart before. Having worked in the hospitality industry, this photo on the right is very impressive! Great job Curtis.  Fortuately he loves packing so much. Well I don't know if he loves it, but he is better than I. I just do not have the patience to pack things and fold them and make sure things fit in a certain way. It doesn't appeal to me in the slightest and frustrates me to no end. 

Curtis and I at the Atlantic right behind our resort

Curtis, me, Christina, Samantha

Me Christina and Samma on St Pats day- before my no sleep tantrum :(

Curtis and I feet in sand

Curtis and I feet in Atlantic

Tuesday I endured the mother of all sunburns, which was less than fun. I couldn't even shave my legs until Friday (lol, sorry Curtis). I tried getting into the hot tub and it wasn't happening for me. I felt as if I were being dipped in acid - it was so painful. My cohorts on the vacation tolerated my incessant whining and diva like attitude all week (thanks guys).

On Wednesday we went out to the outlet mall that was right next to our resort.  And am proud to say with much accomplishment that I walked out of BCBGmaxaria and only spent a little over 100 dollars!!! I also found 2 dresses that I loved and I am NOT sorry for buying both of them :D

My sunburn was awful! just this limited amount of time in the water was agonizing.

 Christina and I had everything set up waiting for the Bridal Party to come and get pretty before the wedding. This venue was gorgeous! Jess looked awesome. I did in fact complete my mission of getting absolutely wedding drunk. I didn't sit in the hot tub like I wanted because it was closed by then. But I did manage to find a steak n shake where in the drive through Curtis put my bra on and posed for several photos.  

 I love this TREE!!!!!!!! It is a month ahead of schedule for blooming. And I missed it!! I watch this tree bloom every year, but this year I was unable to. When we move in a couple of years this will be the only this I will truly miss about this house. 

Now that I've been on vacation I've had such a sense of guilt for the TERRIBLE eating choices I have made all week (most of which happened after I took an ambien and engaged in various other sorts of terrible decision making :(..) I weighed myself when I came home and I have gained a total of 9 lbs!!! Who is talented enough in this world to gain 9lbs in just a week?!?!?! I knew I was going to gain something, maybe like 4 or 5 at the most. But 9?!?! Seriously!? I stayed active, I monitored my alcohol to just liquor basically. The wedding day I knew I was going to blow it. They had pasta, which was amazing! I know this because I tried everything. And also I had like 3 bottles of red wine during the reception. I justified it as me working my ass off to get the bridal party ready before the wedding. And I was dead set on getting so completely shit faced during this reception. MISSION accomplished!! My earlier behavior led me to a Steak and Shake Drive thru at the end of the night, and taking that back to the resort and totally David Hasselholf-ing it, don't get me wrong... I'm not an animal, there were plates and napkins involved.  But that was just on Friday, that didn't count the 4 brownies, and 60 double triple oreos I consumed late night tuesday and wednesday. SMH!! So now I'm terrified to weigh in, because I feel like I've let my team down. All of my plans to stay clean-ish during this whole vacation - I basically just shit on. GAHHHHHHHH!!!! So now, I'm in the process of losing the water weight and other weight I've gained and it SUCKS. No leniency what so ever, clean low carb eating for me. Curtis said that he can't tell that I've gained but, he also knows how to lie to my face when it comes to me being neurotic about my body and eating. I didn't even have to ask him, because I don't need for him to reassure what I already know. This girl needs to put in some SERIOUS work this week.

Gorgeous Day!

I will say this because I've lived in more than one place my entire life. There is NOTHING like a Michigan summer or spring. Everything is so green up here, the air is amazing, the smell of spring is phenomenal. And what sucks is that the weather is supposed to be nicer here than it is in Myrtle Beach which SUCKS!!!!!! I think the universe is working against me :( The weather should be rainy which means my hair will be really pretty. And there is also a pollen warning which means with my running nose and itchy eyes I'll be super pretty. I just wanted sun and sand and warm!!!!! :(

I am soo proud of my weight loss team at work. Everyone was down this week. They will publicly post how everyone is doing tomorrow. So I can't wait to continue my trash talking to HR. I was down 6, Jill was down 5, and everyone else was down a pound. Which is amazing!! I've been really cracking down on their snacks because I know one of them is sneaking chocolate! But they deserve it, they've been working hard.

The photo to the left is my husband and "kids". They are my world!!

A gift I received from a coworker. Irish growing moss and Prep H. How funny! The back story on this is that, I helped out a new provider so she can continue with her CME (Continued Medical Education) course. The subject matter was extremely disgusting. Hemroids, polyps, and   other super gross things. This project happened over the course of months!! But I couldn't say no to scanning in the positives of some film of gross pictures!! I love getting gifts at work!   

Teachable

Yesterday morning kicked off the wedding season activities for Curtis and I. I went to a very nice shower. The location, overall feel, and love for this bride is unreal. She has such an amazing support system between her friends and her fiance's friends as well as her family. I think this is just awesome that she is so happy. I knew her before when she wasn't with this guy and now since she's known him for a year she's is now overall a more.... relaxed person.

Shortly after I arrived (late) the matron of honor had everyone go around the room and tell the bride why they thought she would make a great wife. Everyone had really nice things to say to this girl. Most of it was about how she would be a very godly wife and such. I almost felt like I needed to drink the cool-aid, put on a track suit and wait for the space ship. Mind you this is a lingerie party, and for her to get bedroom things after they are married. Don't get me wrong, I do very much believe that there is a higher power, but I honestly feel like Christians are the worst - especially born again ones. And I'm also not overly opinionated with my beliefs but the whole relationship with Christ I was witnessing was pretty obsessive and unhealthy and to sum it all up, weird.  And the thought of having Christ in the bedroom was beyond weird, lol what's he supposed to do? Give you a high five for giving your husband a top notch bj? But for the sake of the party I just swallowed uncomfort and had the best time that I could. Which it was fun! I was really impressed by what her Matron of honor said about her. She told the bride she would be a great wife because she is teachable. POWERFUL! Of all the things I completely disagreed with at this shower with all of these type A women. I completely agreed with that statement. And I didn't expect that statement to move me so much. But applying that to my own life, I want to become better for my husband. Marriage is so give and take, so much compromising. It does not work if neither party is wanting to be "teachable". So after I heard that I was refreshed. I was just overall happy with the experience no matter how bazaar I thought it was. I came across this pin on pinterest Inspire your husband, I want to always keep him surprised and never take him for granted. Curtis and I have been together for a little while, sometimes I want to strangle him, others I just want to let down my guard, release my fists, exhale all of my worries, frustrations away and fall into his arms. He is home for me. It just makes me think of this song Beyonce 1+1.