Adult life!

I just finished baking homemade cupcakes and chocolate frosting for our lake michigan picnic tomorrow.. This is to celebrate a friend's birthday who didn't receive a cake this year (that's sad! Everyone deserves cake). Yes I baked on friday night, I know this boosts my street cred immensely.  I love South Haven, it's so close and just a cute little lake town. I would very much like to live on a lake one day. But the cookie doesn't always crumble the way I think it's going to. But I need to continue to radiate positiveness, onward and upward I always say. 

My trainer is really working me. I've never considered myself much of a sweater, but after my sessions I am soaked. I don't know if anyone else is like me in the respect of needing to be comfortable at all times. Meaning that if I'm too sweaty I start to distract myself and really loose focus on my overall goal. 

I see the leaves changing on the trees already. I think its too soon!!! I love fall. I mean LOVE it! The smells are amazing, I love the smells of fall. Everything about fall I love. Pumpkins, apples, corn, corn mazes, cider, camp fires, hoodies, the colors of the leaves. I could continue on forever. 

Happy 4th

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I chose to make a lot of awesome choices today, I'm very grateful and thankful that I have the right to choose. Nothing super exciting has been going on recently. I've been really bogged down with a large project I'm working on at work. I really hope to pull it off. It's just going to take a ton of education for individuals in the organization. Fortunately I have a little bit of patience and energy for this task and I am up for the challenge. Onward and upward.

The 4th of July is always special to me because 4 years ago on this very day Curtis proposed at Rothbury so I hold it very near and dear to my heart. I thought that the year we were engaged it was the hottest day of all time (I was sorely mistaken). Today the heat index in Kalamazoo was 108.... WTF?!? This isn't death valley!! But I am happy to have water about very 10 minutes from us. We kayaked at a park where Curtis goes disc golfing a lot. The wind was almost too much. It felt really awesome because it was so hot, but when you paddle and get blisters the more you have to use your hands gets to be really uncomfortable. As always I adjusted my grip and moved forward.

I've been working with a trainer a day or so a week. I haven't noticed a huge difference in my body yet but others have. I've noticed I'm a lot more sore after my workouts. But, I don't know if that is because I just have me to focus on so I try harder?  I work with him next on Friday so I'm excited to see what kind of fun he has in store for me. I didn't eat breakfast on Monday and had 2 cups of coffee. Then I just started slamming water for the rest of the day. I had a good lunch but not a lot of protein. I was shaking during some of my workout later that day.. Awesome choices.... I know.

Last night Curtis and I went to South Haven to watch the fireworks. They were AWESOME!! I felt like it was worth the 40 minute drive to the beach. But it took an hour to get home because of all the traffic. I love South Haven, but I'm afraid to go to any other shore line further away in fear I would like it more and never go back to South Haven.

Catching Up

Since the last time I blogged, my quarter life crisis has passed. I think everyone goes through these "spells" or  at least that is what I tell myself. I feel refocused and ready to crank out this summer. I still have my outbursts of inappropriateness, but I believe everyone has those also and that's totally normal. I have never seen someone have it together 100% of the time. Everyone has their perfected areas of hot mess.

Father's Day is always a touchy super sad subject and holiday. I love my husband's father (my father in law).  How can a man just abandon children. I know maternally men don't view children the way women do, but really?

Bonnaroo, was a great big hot mess. A fun, super, hot mess. I had a ton of fun. Camping for 6 nights is very taxing. It made me really appreciate Curtis' camping skills. I saw some awesome bands. We were camped next to some very cool people. I now realize I know absolutely nothing about all of the recreational drugs people do. I was surprised how people can function regularly having pumped their bodies full of crap. Also, Bonnaroo was like a tiny Amsterdam - anything you wanted to take in, you could! There were only a few people who "they searched like well known drug mules".

We spent the weekend in one of my favorite cities to visit. I was fortunate enough to spend time with a dear friend of mine. It's been a long time coming since I visited her. But as I get older I really don't want to let go of memories of being young with them. Going down to this particular city has such a different meaning to me now. It's just kind of fun to think about the old days, haha! I'm super happy my friend had us stay with her, and I hope everything that she's going through right now works out. I miss her dearly and wish I could be there for her more. Not that I would be able to help, but laughter is the best medicine for most things and I have a never ending supply of that. I know I worry about people to a fault, but I get very protective over my friends. If I could endure their pain, I would. It means so much to me to see the people I love happy. I met another friend's son, who was stupid cute! Fortunately I'll get to see him grow up through facebook.

I'm so blessed to have the life I live. My family isn't what I would have chose but has made me a stronger person. I am so fortunate to have a husband that treats me like gold, 2 crazy fur babies and great friends. I think this is what life is all about.

Never Never Land

I've been going through this completely restless phase for the last couple of months. It's good because I'm staying active, and I'm happy. But, I am starting to think that I'm leaving people with the wrong impression of me. I know I joke around about being a huge hot mess, and I've proven it on occasion. For the most part I am quite boring. When I'm at home I blog, clean, love on my fur babies or my man, a good portion of my at home time is dedicated to reality TV. I want to say I'm your typical 26 year old woman with no children and a huge desire to never want to grow up. I have "never never land syndrome" if you will. I feel like I've reached the peak of my immaturity lately. But some pranks and jokes are just too perfect to not take advantage of. I don't want to be a lame bitter person who is "grown up". I'm having an awesome time being an adult without major responsibility (without a child). Sunday (Mother's Day) I had at least 3 people tell me happy Mother's Day, I never had a child with me. I didn't mind, I just said thank you because telling every person that I'm not a mom would grown tiresome after a while. I know my bod isn't where I want it to be, but I think people just thought I had a very nurturing look about me, which I find super comical.

Speaking of Mother's Day, I didn't call my mother at all. We do not and have never had a great relationship. We barely call each other for birthdays and I'm ok with that.

Weekends are far too short

I'm so happy about so many things going on in my life right now. I'm not really on a peak or in a valley, just on a plateau and I'm ok with that. I felt like I was being especially hard on myself before the half because I didn't train the way I was supposed to. I was dreading it, hating the thought of doing it, but I always seem to face anything head on even though I'm in the purist form of being terrified. I was doing really well  until the half way point. LOL - a friend told me she had me on gps tracking my updates in case she needed to resuscitate me..

I had a super fun filled weekend with friends that we haven't seen since our wedding. I was so happy about that. I love seeing people!!

Also something else I'm super excited about, is that my WET volunteer application was accepted!!! So, I will be volunteering at Bonaroo this summer!!

love - hate

GAH!!! is all I can possibly sum all of my emotions and frustrations with right now. I was talking to a very dear friend this evening about how I am the most selfish person I know, then the largest bolt of lighting went across the sky (from my hours of watching the O network last weekend, I know this is a sign). I am sooo beyond absolute cognitive belief selfishness it isn't even funny. This doesn't surprise me one bit, but I sometimes try to lighten the mood with my moot issues to my Amigas, so their issues don't seem too significant.... I don't think it works....... But I do give it the "Raina try".

I'm terrified for this run Sunday. I won't do well... I know this to be fact. I've come to peace with it and I want it to be over like yesterday. Because........  Curtis and I are going on a cruise with 2 very dear friends of mine from high school. They are getting married this year and asked us to accompany them on their honeymoon cruise which I am cra cra pumped about (it's not until November though)!!! I just hope after the run I'm able to walk and speak in coherent sentences and be pleasant even though we all know I'll be so super tired and sore. Alas, this is the price I pay, to get back into top notch shape and hold myself accountable for my actions.

Speaking of being accountable, the weight loss challenge is over, we didn't win.... But, that's ok. I'm so proud of all of out efforts, even if that means we weren't winners :D The other teams killed themselves. The top team lost almost 9% of their body weight. WTF!!! I would be almost 16lbs lighter had I lost 10%.  So, I'll stop harassing the opponents. I'm such a shit talker.

Jinx!

I knew it! After posting how things had been going so well. Life (as it usually does) likes to reality check me. My reality check came in the form of my insurance not covering anything I need. So, I'm looking at dropping some serious money that could have all been avoided had, I just stayed on my hubs' insurance vs. my own plan.   Right now my current beef is that it will cost me $1000 for the same birth control I was on for 4 years because I need to have it "re-done". I can not even describe how aggravated I am. WHY?!?!?! Why do I pay for insurance when it doesn't cover anything! This aggravation also falls into why this particular organization will cover boner meds for men but no sort of birth control for women.

I went to a wedding on Saturday for a friend. We've grown apart so much, I still like her. It's just waaay different now, I imagine she'll start growing a part from most of her friends who aren't involved in her church and have the same ideals. Which I'm at piece with, I try not to show my ass about how much I think things have changed. But, my ugly personality about it sometimes I think is mourning the less of how we used to be as friends. I will always have a special place in my heart for her, I just need to remember "you're ok, i'm ok".

On a positive note, PROVOLONE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My once fatty fat cat is now home!!! I say once because he has lost about 5lbs and looks like normal P vs. his name heavy P. I will have him pack those lost lbs on in no time! This makes me SO happy!!! I missed that lazy fatty of a cat.