I am me

This is a phrase I'm seeing all too often. I find it pretty annoying that it seems to be a white flag of maintaining manners and common decency. Not to mention absolutely cliche.

From my experiences there have been times where I KNOW I've stepped out of line. I may have hurt someone close to me or made an awful perception of myself. So when I see the one who I view as completely irrational and looking for a fight say "I'm me, there'll be no apologies", I become so perturbed. I think I do pretty well on personal boundaries, I can read others body language to make sure that I'm not being an asshole to whomever.

To sum this blog up everyone should be kind to one another. Being yourself is awesome, however if you're an asshole and not recognizing your behaviors to deter people away.

Festive Train. Choo Choo!!!!

Although it's not yet winter, I'm feeling the winter blahs already. I don't want to do anything, the days are so short. Which makes going to the gym near impossible. I'm becoming frustrated with myself. We're going to start on the house renovation soon (this week). When I get anxious or nervous I tend to be an eater to cope with stressors. But with no kitchen I probably won't have that issue!!! With the downstairs torn out we won't have a place for a christmas tree or put up any kind of decorations. I never knew how much I would miss having a tree until we logically can't put one up and decorate this year. Having so many projects going on makes it difficult to maintain focus and clarity. I don't think that men know the importance of a home vs a house. They are totally different. But now we have a goal in mind to complete the project by May because we're having house guests!!! Which I'm so excited about!!!!!! I feel like Curtis and I have done so well for ourselves, but we both know we will never be successful enough for us. Which means that we have so many more goals as a couple and individually to achieve.

Speaking of achievements now since friends are coming I need to train for the half, next year goal is 2:30 because I don't want to be running all day. So I'm going to need to do things way differently this winter. I'm wanting to join run camp, so hopefully this year, I'll form a life long connection with someone who has common goals and interests. This year I'm optimistic.

I'm still recovering from that nasty sinus infection I had a couple of weeks ago. Even with antibiotics being completed a week ago I still think my respiratory system has recovered yet.

Sunday Funday!!!

Today was mostly relaxing. I made pulled chicken and the trick for shredding your chicken/pork/whatever meat you want to shred is to use a hand/stand mixer. BRILLIANT! Something that used to take me 15-20 minutes to do using 2 forks now takes a matter of seconds with a hand mixer!!! I love when I can make women's work easier. Our plan to move the furniture into the dining room was not accomplished. My husband played RIFT most of the day.. One day just to entertain myself I might log on to his account and sell his gear. LOL I probably won't, but it cracks me up to even think that I would do that.

2 weeks until the cruise!!!!! I'm so pumped up!!!!!! Of all the things I could even fathom doing in Mexico, buying one of those Mexican looking jackets, and buying a TON of pure Mexican vanilla is on my list!! Sometimes, I am super easy to please. Just thinking of getting to know new friends and spending time with old friends makes me so excited. I am mentally packed. I know what I'm wearing most days, how my hair is, what most of my activities will be. Most people have put my mind at ease, because I was very fearful about waiting in a ton of lines and having crazy kids running around everywhere.

I really need to start yoga and other forms of mediation, I honestly think if I were more centered with 2 situations in my life I would be much better off. Thanksgiving is coming faster than I can even think! Which makes me think Christmas isn't much further behind (but I've already been prepping for that). Thanksgiving and Christmas are two of my least favorite holidays. Because I have to be with my family.

Happy Hot Mess Week

Golly! I really think that blogging is beneficial for me to track my growth. This year has been such a year of growth. We're in October now, and I'm so excited to see what's in store for me throughout the rest of the year. I've grown so much personally and professionally this year. I've squashed some grudges and really started to focus on the most important things in life.

A new development that Curtis and I have been talking about so much and exhausting the topic. We are super close to redoing the layout of our downstairs. Moving the kitchen into the current "living room" and turning the old kitchen into a half bath and storage closet. When this is done we will hopefully sell this house within the next year and pursue a larger home. I really want to stay in Kalamazoo because of the promise. I would hate for our future/not even planned children to be stuck with education debt. Plus there are a lot of things that I want in the next house, like storage space. I've realized we have so much stuff and not enough places to put things. And I'm crazy excited for a floor plan that makes sense, not odd shaped, etc.

I'm super pumped up about the cruise, and Leslie and Greg's wedding. Also we're going to visit a friend of mine in November for her birthday!! I'm excited to kick off the holidays this year. My birthday kicks off the week of Thanksgiving this year.

I checked the moon cycle this week because I don't know what is going on people, I've been working with a bunch of cray crays. I know people who work in certain industries swear that a full moon is when the crazys come out. Maybe this week is an exception.

First day of fall

This summer has gone by so fast!! I took a little break from blogging and realized I need to continue to holding myself accountable. So I'm back!!!! Today is the first day of fall and it absolutely feels like it. Tonight Curtis and I are going to meet up with some friends from Indiana and some work friends. Which I'm super pumped up about. But first is Halloween decorating!!!! I love Halloween Decor.. I have such a sense of renewal with seasons I really like. I had a huge burst of energy on Wednesday. Also, I've been going on my afternoon sanity mile at work and that really seems to relax and calm me down. I almost passed out at the gym 2 weeks ago, by doing bicep curls... ????? I don't even understand why that happened but I just fell back into my old routine and corrected the situation. I need to reach my goal before the cruise, so I'm working hard.

I went through a series of interviews for a position that I didn't end up getting but that's ok. It was a great experience and I'm excited for my future. I've really made a name for myself professionally this year.

I'm excited for the holidays this year. It's bittersweet because of my family.

Adult life!

I just finished baking homemade cupcakes and chocolate frosting for our lake michigan picnic tomorrow.. This is to celebrate a friend's birthday who didn't receive a cake this year (that's sad! Everyone deserves cake). Yes I baked on friday night, I know this boosts my street cred immensely.  I love South Haven, it's so close and just a cute little lake town. I would very much like to live on a lake one day. But the cookie doesn't always crumble the way I think it's going to. But I need to continue to radiate positiveness, onward and upward I always say. 

My trainer is really working me. I've never considered myself much of a sweater, but after my sessions I am soaked. I don't know if anyone else is like me in the respect of needing to be comfortable at all times. Meaning that if I'm too sweaty I start to distract myself and really loose focus on my overall goal. 

I see the leaves changing on the trees already. I think its too soon!!! I love fall. I mean LOVE it! The smells are amazing, I love the smells of fall. Everything about fall I love. Pumpkins, apples, corn, corn mazes, cider, camp fires, hoodies, the colors of the leaves. I could continue on forever. 

Happy 4th

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I chose to make a lot of awesome choices today, I'm very grateful and thankful that I have the right to choose. Nothing super exciting has been going on recently. I've been really bogged down with a large project I'm working on at work. I really hope to pull it off. It's just going to take a ton of education for individuals in the organization. Fortunately I have a little bit of patience and energy for this task and I am up for the challenge. Onward and upward.

The 4th of July is always special to me because 4 years ago on this very day Curtis proposed at Rothbury so I hold it very near and dear to my heart. I thought that the year we were engaged it was the hottest day of all time (I was sorely mistaken). Today the heat index in Kalamazoo was 108.... WTF?!? This isn't death valley!! But I am happy to have water about very 10 minutes from us. We kayaked at a park where Curtis goes disc golfing a lot. The wind was almost too much. It felt really awesome because it was so hot, but when you paddle and get blisters the more you have to use your hands gets to be really uncomfortable. As always I adjusted my grip and moved forward.

I've been working with a trainer a day or so a week. I haven't noticed a huge difference in my body yet but others have. I've noticed I'm a lot more sore after my workouts. But, I don't know if that is because I just have me to focus on so I try harder?  I work with him next on Friday so I'm excited to see what kind of fun he has in store for me. I didn't eat breakfast on Monday and had 2 cups of coffee. Then I just started slamming water for the rest of the day. I had a good lunch but not a lot of protein. I was shaking during some of my workout later that day.. Awesome choices.... I know.

Last night Curtis and I went to South Haven to watch the fireworks. They were AWESOME!! I felt like it was worth the 40 minute drive to the beach. But it took an hour to get home because of all the traffic. I love South Haven, but I'm afraid to go to any other shore line further away in fear I would like it more and never go back to South Haven.

Catching Up

Since the last time I blogged, my quarter life crisis has passed. I think everyone goes through these "spells" or  at least that is what I tell myself. I feel refocused and ready to crank out this summer. I still have my outbursts of inappropriateness, but I believe everyone has those also and that's totally normal. I have never seen someone have it together 100% of the time. Everyone has their perfected areas of hot mess.

Father's Day is always a touchy super sad subject and holiday. I love my husband's father (my father in law).  How can a man just abandon children. I know maternally men don't view children the way women do, but really?

Bonnaroo, was a great big hot mess. A fun, super, hot mess. I had a ton of fun. Camping for 6 nights is very taxing. It made me really appreciate Curtis' camping skills. I saw some awesome bands. We were camped next to some very cool people. I now realize I know absolutely nothing about all of the recreational drugs people do. I was surprised how people can function regularly having pumped their bodies full of crap. Also, Bonnaroo was like a tiny Amsterdam - anything you wanted to take in, you could! There were only a few people who "they searched like well known drug mules".

We spent the weekend in one of my favorite cities to visit. I was fortunate enough to spend time with a dear friend of mine. It's been a long time coming since I visited her. But as I get older I really don't want to let go of memories of being young with them. Going down to this particular city has such a different meaning to me now. It's just kind of fun to think about the old days, haha! I'm super happy my friend had us stay with her, and I hope everything that she's going through right now works out. I miss her dearly and wish I could be there for her more. Not that I would be able to help, but laughter is the best medicine for most things and I have a never ending supply of that. I know I worry about people to a fault, but I get very protective over my friends. If I could endure their pain, I would. It means so much to me to see the people I love happy. I met another friend's son, who was stupid cute! Fortunately I'll get to see him grow up through facebook.

I'm so blessed to have the life I live. My family isn't what I would have chose but has made me a stronger person. I am so fortunate to have a husband that treats me like gold, 2 crazy fur babies and great friends. I think this is what life is all about.

Never Never Land

I've been going through this completely restless phase for the last couple of months. It's good because I'm staying active, and I'm happy. But, I am starting to think that I'm leaving people with the wrong impression of me. I know I joke around about being a huge hot mess, and I've proven it on occasion. For the most part I am quite boring. When I'm at home I blog, clean, love on my fur babies or my man, a good portion of my at home time is dedicated to reality TV. I want to say I'm your typical 26 year old woman with no children and a huge desire to never want to grow up. I have "never never land syndrome" if you will. I feel like I've reached the peak of my immaturity lately. But some pranks and jokes are just too perfect to not take advantage of. I don't want to be a lame bitter person who is "grown up". I'm having an awesome time being an adult without major responsibility (without a child). Sunday (Mother's Day) I had at least 3 people tell me happy Mother's Day, I never had a child with me. I didn't mind, I just said thank you because telling every person that I'm not a mom would grown tiresome after a while. I know my bod isn't where I want it to be, but I think people just thought I had a very nurturing look about me, which I find super comical.

Speaking of Mother's Day, I didn't call my mother at all. We do not and have never had a great relationship. We barely call each other for birthdays and I'm ok with that.

Weekends are far too short

I'm so happy about so many things going on in my life right now. I'm not really on a peak or in a valley, just on a plateau and I'm ok with that. I felt like I was being especially hard on myself before the half because I didn't train the way I was supposed to. I was dreading it, hating the thought of doing it, but I always seem to face anything head on even though I'm in the purist form of being terrified. I was doing really well  until the half way point. LOL - a friend told me she had me on gps tracking my updates in case she needed to resuscitate me..

I had a super fun filled weekend with friends that we haven't seen since our wedding. I was so happy about that. I love seeing people!!

Also something else I'm super excited about, is that my WET volunteer application was accepted!!! So, I will be volunteering at Bonaroo this summer!!

love - hate

GAH!!! is all I can possibly sum all of my emotions and frustrations with right now. I was talking to a very dear friend this evening about how I am the most selfish person I know, then the largest bolt of lighting went across the sky (from my hours of watching the O network last weekend, I know this is a sign). I am sooo beyond absolute cognitive belief selfishness it isn't even funny. This doesn't surprise me one bit, but I sometimes try to lighten the mood with my moot issues to my Amigas, so their issues don't seem too significant.... I don't think it works....... But I do give it the "Raina try".

I'm terrified for this run Sunday. I won't do well... I know this to be fact. I've come to peace with it and I want it to be over like yesterday. Because........  Curtis and I are going on a cruise with 2 very dear friends of mine from high school. They are getting married this year and asked us to accompany them on their honeymoon cruise which I am cra cra pumped about (it's not until November though)!!! I just hope after the run I'm able to walk and speak in coherent sentences and be pleasant even though we all know I'll be so super tired and sore. Alas, this is the price I pay, to get back into top notch shape and hold myself accountable for my actions.

Speaking of being accountable, the weight loss challenge is over, we didn't win.... But, that's ok. I'm so proud of all of out efforts, even if that means we weren't winners :D The other teams killed themselves. The top team lost almost 9% of their body weight. WTF!!! I would be almost 16lbs lighter had I lost 10%.  So, I'll stop harassing the opponents. I'm such a shit talker.

Jinx!

I knew it! After posting how things had been going so well. Life (as it usually does) likes to reality check me. My reality check came in the form of my insurance not covering anything I need. So, I'm looking at dropping some serious money that could have all been avoided had, I just stayed on my hubs' insurance vs. my own plan.   Right now my current beef is that it will cost me $1000 for the same birth control I was on for 4 years because I need to have it "re-done". I can not even describe how aggravated I am. WHY?!?!?! Why do I pay for insurance when it doesn't cover anything! This aggravation also falls into why this particular organization will cover boner meds for men but no sort of birth control for women.

I went to a wedding on Saturday for a friend. We've grown apart so much, I still like her. It's just waaay different now, I imagine she'll start growing a part from most of her friends who aren't involved in her church and have the same ideals. Which I'm at piece with, I try not to show my ass about how much I think things have changed. But, my ugly personality about it sometimes I think is mourning the less of how we used to be as friends. I will always have a special place in my heart for her, I just need to remember "you're ok, i'm ok".

On a positive note, PROVOLONE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My once fatty fat cat is now home!!! I say once because he has lost about 5lbs and looks like normal P vs. his name heavy P. I will have him pack those lost lbs on in no time! This makes me SO happy!!! I missed that lazy fatty of a cat.

Too well?

Is there such a thing as everything falling into place perfectly? The pessimist in me seems to think so, but the realist in me thinks "you probably deserve it girl". Last weekend was so busy for me. I went to Fort Wayne to celebrate a bestie's birthday on Friday. I played laser tag for the first time in 10 years, and I have realized I'm terrible at it! I'm terrible at most "sports" anyway, but this one I exceptionally sucked at. The other team knew where I was hiding the whole time and they could probably hear my heels and my excessive gregarious laughter all throughout this tri-level course. But I think she (my bestie) had a good birthday and that's all that matters to me. I saw my brother and GORGEOUS niece which, I feel made my entire trip. We stopped by our cousin's house for yet another bday party. Then came home. I went to my pin up class Sunday afternoon. I love Go Go Amy! She's such a fascinating person. She told me how she started modeling before but then marketed herself as a 40's model who could style herself. That brought in so many gigs for her. She could style herself which saved whoever hired her money. GENIUS! Although, after seeing my photo preview I do not feel like I have a future in such a career, but it was a super fun experience. I had talked a new found friend into going with me and her photos were smoking hot! I know she was a little apprehensive about it, but after she saw her photos I think it reaffirmed she liked the experience a lot.

There are so many things I wanted to do this summer that I don't think I'll be able to, prime example, Bonnaroo.  But it might happen (fingers crossed) Curtis wouldn't be going so it would just be me and whoever I would be annoying that weekend. (My appologies in advance). He'll be going to wedding, alone :( .... Normally I am so supportive for whatever it is that he wants to do. I've done nothing but be there for him over these last 5ish years, I think I'm due for a selfish weekend.

I've noticed my energy level driving down which makes me super sad, I need to keep this momentum going! But I hope to be inspired soon!

Easterish

Happy Easter!!! Today will be dedicated to my Amazon Shopping Cart and volunteering at the homeless shelter, as God had intended. Maybe I am very cynical about religion. Maybe everyone else does have it right. You can do whatever it is you want (be an a-hole) on a regular basis and then go to church. That absolutely annoys me - when I see a-hole behavior in people and then they hide behind their religion to justify. Smh.... Anyway, that is a huge down fall of mine, caring too much about what other people are up to. Most of the time I think things like Facebook are entertaining because of the amount of what's published, and how most people are so emotionally driven. Fascinating! I try to keep a lot of that to myself but that's why I have this blog. It was brought to my attention Friday that I know waaaaaay too much about people just from reading their Facebook pages. A term called "creepin" comes to mind. If there is someone I haven't seen for a while I will "creep" on their facebook just to see how things are going. I'm sure they prefer that to a phone call or a drive by. And people are naturally curious about other people. I've taken the necessary steps to cut down on my facebooking. But it's soooooo difficult. I am certainly a social media addict. I need a 12 step program. I feel that my online shopping carts are going to take the heavy of this transition period.

A potted tulip plant I won as a shower gift for being married for the least amount of time. I went to a bridal shower yesterday. It was really nice, it was the family shower for the girl who I went to her naughty shower. It was super laid back which I appreciated because I was highly involved in some drinks the night before and didn't eat dinner. I didn't blow my diet, but I could have very much made better choices. I was feeling guilty afterwards so I ran the 5k course around my gym and cut 3 minutes off of my pb time. I did register for the half marathon which I already know, will be extremely difficult because I haven't trained like I should have at all for it. 

Next week is going to be so busy for me. Friday, were going to Fort Wayne for my bestie's bday!!! Then I have to leave saturday or sunday so I can be in Grand Rapids by 1 for my pin up shoot with Liz!!!!! I'm pumped, I haven't found what I'm going to wear for it yet and my body isn't where I want it to be yet either. I'm still hoping to be able to see the Fray in Chicago the next Tuesday after (my brother's bday). But hopefully I'll have some funny money by then :D. 

Missing Provolone

There has been a lot going on in my life lately. Most of which was my recovery after vacation. I've been getting back into my crazy routine. But I haven't felt like doing anything at all. No motivation. But I'm getting it back! There is no way I'm going to make it through this half marathon without crying. I can do a solid 5 miles, anything beyond that is terrible. 

I do like blogging so that I can get my thoughts out onto type. My apologies to the 99 people who have viewed this. I primarily use my blog as an accountability tool. So that I can improve in different areas. 

Curtis and I finally took the plunge and purchased kayaks. I'm pumped!!!! I love it. I love water, I love sun. I think there is just something very therapeutic about large bodies of water. Being in them is even better. I think the main selling point for me was the twisty thing under the straps. That is a cooler than can fit 2 normal sized cans of beer or (and I haven't tested this yet but I'm pretty sure) a whole bottle of wine!! There is a cup holder also to the left (which is holding my package of peanuts nicely). A dry compartment in the rear with locks. I've been searching online to find quick dry shirts for the great trip of this summer. And I don't think they make any feminine hiking clothes. I looked exactly like how South Park animates their butch characters. I'm stupid excited to have some libations on the river this year. I can't wait to put stickers on this thing. PUMPED!!! I am in love with this new gadget.

On a sad note, I'm afraid my cat Provolone is gone for good. :( this makes me super sad. He was so cuddly and lazy. He escaped 2 weeks ago and hasn't returned. He's never been gone for that long. No other cats will replace him. Where ever you are I hope you are being well taken care of and I miss you very much.

South Carolina, Wedding and bad decisions

Samma and Curtis

 I apologize in advanced for how long and weird this blog is going to be. It's a culmination of what's all been going on in my crazy life within the past week and a half. 


We (Curtis, Christina, and Sam and I) left after work on Friday March 16 to drive to Myrtle Beach. I for some reason drove 12a-7a which enabled me to be an absolute bitch for the following day. If I'm too excited about something I will not sleep, I've tried to chill out, yoga, meditation. Shit's hard for me. But anyway a few personality drinks remedied that situation. Finally when we were able to check into our resort. I have never seen soooooooo much on a bell cart before. Having worked in the hospitality industry, this photo on the right is very impressive! Great job Curtis.  Fortuately he loves packing so much. Well I don't know if he loves it, but he is better than I. I just do not have the patience to pack things and fold them and make sure things fit in a certain way. It doesn't appeal to me in the slightest and frustrates me to no end. 

Curtis and I at the Atlantic right behind our resort

Curtis, me, Christina, Samantha

Me Christina and Samma on St Pats day- before my no sleep tantrum :(

Curtis and I feet in sand

Curtis and I feet in Atlantic

Tuesday I endured the mother of all sunburns, which was less than fun. I couldn't even shave my legs until Friday (lol, sorry Curtis). I tried getting into the hot tub and it wasn't happening for me. I felt as if I were being dipped in acid - it was so painful. My cohorts on the vacation tolerated my incessant whining and diva like attitude all week (thanks guys).

On Wednesday we went out to the outlet mall that was right next to our resort.  And am proud to say with much accomplishment that I walked out of BCBGmaxaria and only spent a little over 100 dollars!!! I also found 2 dresses that I loved and I am NOT sorry for buying both of them :D

My sunburn was awful! just this limited amount of time in the water was agonizing.

 Christina and I had everything set up waiting for the Bridal Party to come and get pretty before the wedding. This venue was gorgeous! Jess looked awesome. I did in fact complete my mission of getting absolutely wedding drunk. I didn't sit in the hot tub like I wanted because it was closed by then. But I did manage to find a steak n shake where in the drive through Curtis put my bra on and posed for several photos.  

 I love this TREE!!!!!!!! It is a month ahead of schedule for blooming. And I missed it!! I watch this tree bloom every year, but this year I was unable to. When we move in a couple of years this will be the only this I will truly miss about this house. 

Now that I've been on vacation I've had such a sense of guilt for the TERRIBLE eating choices I have made all week (most of which happened after I took an ambien and engaged in various other sorts of terrible decision making :(..) I weighed myself when I came home and I have gained a total of 9 lbs!!! Who is talented enough in this world to gain 9lbs in just a week?!?!?! I knew I was going to gain something, maybe like 4 or 5 at the most. But 9?!?! Seriously!? I stayed active, I monitored my alcohol to just liquor basically. The wedding day I knew I was going to blow it. They had pasta, which was amazing! I know this because I tried everything. And also I had like 3 bottles of red wine during the reception. I justified it as me working my ass off to get the bridal party ready before the wedding. And I was dead set on getting so completely shit faced during this reception. MISSION accomplished!! My earlier behavior led me to a Steak and Shake Drive thru at the end of the night, and taking that back to the resort and totally David Hasselholf-ing it, don't get me wrong... I'm not an animal, there were plates and napkins involved.  But that was just on Friday, that didn't count the 4 brownies, and 60 double triple oreos I consumed late night tuesday and wednesday. SMH!! So now I'm terrified to weigh in, because I feel like I've let my team down. All of my plans to stay clean-ish during this whole vacation - I basically just shit on. GAHHHHHHHH!!!! So now, I'm in the process of losing the water weight and other weight I've gained and it SUCKS. No leniency what so ever, clean low carb eating for me. Curtis said that he can't tell that I've gained but, he also knows how to lie to my face when it comes to me being neurotic about my body and eating. I didn't even have to ask him, because I don't need for him to reassure what I already know. This girl needs to put in some SERIOUS work this week.

Gorgeous Day!

I will say this because I've lived in more than one place my entire life. There is NOTHING like a Michigan summer or spring. Everything is so green up here, the air is amazing, the smell of spring is phenomenal. And what sucks is that the weather is supposed to be nicer here than it is in Myrtle Beach which SUCKS!!!!!! I think the universe is working against me :( The weather should be rainy which means my hair will be really pretty. And there is also a pollen warning which means with my running nose and itchy eyes I'll be super pretty. I just wanted sun and sand and warm!!!!! :(

I am soo proud of my weight loss team at work. Everyone was down this week. They will publicly post how everyone is doing tomorrow. So I can't wait to continue my trash talking to HR. I was down 6, Jill was down 5, and everyone else was down a pound. Which is amazing!! I've been really cracking down on their snacks because I know one of them is sneaking chocolate! But they deserve it, they've been working hard.

The photo to the left is my husband and "kids". They are my world!!

A gift I received from a coworker. Irish growing moss and Prep H. How funny! The back story on this is that, I helped out a new provider so she can continue with her CME (Continued Medical Education) course. The subject matter was extremely disgusting. Hemroids, polyps, and   other super gross things. This project happened over the course of months!! But I couldn't say no to scanning in the positives of some film of gross pictures!! I love getting gifts at work!   

Teachable

Yesterday morning kicked off the wedding season activities for Curtis and I. I went to a very nice shower. The location, overall feel, and love for this bride is unreal. She has such an amazing support system between her friends and her fiance's friends as well as her family. I think this is just awesome that she is so happy. I knew her before when she wasn't with this guy and now since she's known him for a year she's is now overall a more.... relaxed person.

Shortly after I arrived (late) the matron of honor had everyone go around the room and tell the bride why they thought she would make a great wife. Everyone had really nice things to say to this girl. Most of it was about how she would be a very godly wife and such. I almost felt like I needed to drink the cool-aid, put on a track suit and wait for the space ship. Mind you this is a lingerie party, and for her to get bedroom things after they are married. Don't get me wrong, I do very much believe that there is a higher power, but I honestly feel like Christians are the worst - especially born again ones. And I'm also not overly opinionated with my beliefs but the whole relationship with Christ I was witnessing was pretty obsessive and unhealthy and to sum it all up, weird.  And the thought of having Christ in the bedroom was beyond weird, lol what's he supposed to do? Give you a high five for giving your husband a top notch bj? But for the sake of the party I just swallowed uncomfort and had the best time that I could. Which it was fun! I was really impressed by what her Matron of honor said about her. She told the bride she would be a great wife because she is teachable. POWERFUL! Of all the things I completely disagreed with at this shower with all of these type A women. I completely agreed with that statement. And I didn't expect that statement to move me so much. But applying that to my own life, I want to become better for my husband. Marriage is so give and take, so much compromising. It does not work if neither party is wanting to be "teachable". So after I heard that I was refreshed. I was just overall happy with the experience no matter how bazaar I thought it was. I came across this pin on pinterest Inspire your husband, I want to always keep him surprised and never take him for granted. Curtis and I have been together for a little while, sometimes I want to strangle him, others I just want to let down my guard, release my fists, exhale all of my worries, frustrations away and fall into his arms. He is home for me. It just makes me think of this song Beyonce 1+1.

Cheese grater delight

SSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo PUMPED for next Friday!!!!!!! I'm going to South Carolina with Curtis, Samma, and Christina.  OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! I can't wait to just get into the car and gooooooooooooooooo. I need to have my feet in warm sand and sun on my skin!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm on a mission to get a new dress when we are there. An awesome fitted hot ass dress! But I am very particular when it comes to my clothes and I do not like to be disappointed with what I'm wearing. So this needs to impress! After I will be working my ass off getting these ladies ready for the wedding - My overall mission is to get super pretty and have enough fun for everyone at the reception without getting weird drunk. Then I want to sit in the hot tub for a while and just relax!! But this is 2 weeks from now - it's soooooooooooooooooo close but sooooooooo far still.

Today went well, this whole week went well actually. My cheese grater I take into work broke about 4 months ago and I never replaced it. I suppose I could have but it hasn't been a priority of mine. But nothing is better than freshly grated parm on anything! If someone told me I had to use Kraft shaky cheese, I'd laugh in their face and then follow it up with a snarky "i don't think so". But point of this paragraph - My boss brought me her cheese grater (a pampered chef one) to keep because she said she never used it. WTF, how do you not use an awesome cheese grater like that?!?! Then to add on to her awesomeness she told me to leave early! So I did! I'm sooooooooooooooooooo satisfied with the events of this week, but I'm also feeling really restless. Curtis came home last night, I was out but we hung out before bed. So that was nice. He does this weird thing when he sleeps. He'll smack his lips together like he's eating something, and without fail, I wake up and can't go back to sleep.

Last Sunday we had dinner at Brad and Chels' and I had such a good time!! It was honestly some of the best fun I've had in a long time.

Our team for the challenge has been doing really well!! I've been doing pretty ok but I have drank way more this week than I should have. It's amazing the effects alcohol have on you when you're starving!

Biscoff Cookie Temptation

I love when people bring me gifts at work!!!! I mentioned once in passing that I LOVE the cookies that Delta gives to people on their flights!! They are awesome!! They are sooooo light and buttery and cinnamon like! MMMm!! But they are still on my desk because I will not enjoy them until after May 1 when the competition is over. The ladies have been doing awesome! I haven't had to threaten anyone with violence. So hopefully I'll be getting some extra funny money in May which would be sweet!! 

A license plate I saw tonight that says 4snooks. ha! I love just driving around listening to music to clear my mind. Who would do that? Just one of the several things I do not understand. 

I can't wait for Curtis to get home!!!!!